A few months ago, I decided that it was finally time to start watching Chuck. I have now watched all five seasons and would consider myself officially part of the Nerd Herd.
I am not really sure why I never watched the show when it started in 2007. I do know that I did not yet have DVR, so I was probably watching How I Met Your Mother instead. I actually do not really remember thinking about it much when it was on. I loved Adam Baldwin in Firefly and Sarah Lancaster in What About Brian (also, Saved By The Bell: The New Class...shhh), and probably recognized Zachary Levi, but none of them were enough to interest me in the show. This was also about the time that I was *not* watching Friday Night Lights either so, clearly, I was not thinking straight.
To be honest, the reason I did start watching Chuck was because of Orphan Black. I know that sounds weird, so let me explain. As I have mentioned before, I watched all of Orphan Black after last year's ATX Television Festival and was instantly obsessed. Shortly after watching the whole first season, the cast went to San Diego Comic Con, at which they did a panel for Zachary Levi's Nerd Machine. Once I discovered the Orphan Black panel online, I then watched many of the other Nerd Machine panels throughout the weekend that were streaming on YouTube, including one with Levi himself, and soon came to the conclusion that I should at least give Chuck a try.
The only way that I could watch it initially was to get the discs from Netflix, so the first two seasons took me quite a while to get through. (And when I say, "quite a while," I mean about two months.) I was just starting to lose steam and then, as if they knew exactly what I was thinking, Netflix made the whole series available to stream the following week and I flew threw the last three seasons.
I have been really lonely this past year and a half.
Last February, I moved to a city where I knew about three people and it has been a lot harder than I anticipated to make friends. I spend a lot of time alone in my apartment watching TV (which is not a whole lot different than what I was doing before I moved, but now it's because I actually do not have anything else to do). I miss my friends and family in Philly, but I also do not feel like there is anything for me to go back to right now.
To be honest, I have felt pretty lost for a while now. I thought by moving to Texas I would find....something. Something that would make me happy. I guess I have just never really been a happy person. Actually, I think I was happy when I was younger, I just can't remember when or why I lost that feeling of looking forward with anticipation instead of dread. Before I moved, someone actually said to me that they could sense my unhappiness and felt like a light had gone out.
The problem is, I am not really sure how to turn it back on.
The only bright spot I see is that I have this hobby (for lack of a better word) that I love. Unfortunately, I cannot for the life of me figure out how to turn it into something that will also support me financially.
I like movies and television because I can always find something to fit my mood...a world to get lost in. If I just need something to make me laugh, I can visit my friends the Huxtables or get some coffee at Central Perk. If I need a good cry, I will build a house with Kevin Kline or go on a road trip with Whoopi, Mary Louise and Drew. If I just feel like punching someone, I hop on my Harley and ride into Charming. If I just need to completely lose myself, I head into Westeros or Middle Earth. My "comfort food" is spending time in Stars Hollow or Neptune and, most recently, I have been shopping a lot at Buy More. Whatever I am feeling or whatever emotions I need justified, I can either find someone who feels the same or can make me feel better.
Don't get me wrong, I am SO thankful for everything that I have and the opportunities that have been given me, I guess I just always thought my life would be...less ordinary and I felt like I needed to vent a little.
Sometimes though, you just have to face reality...
I will never marry Bradley Cooper.
The girl does not always get the boy...
or the dream job...
and she doesn't always save the world.
xoxo
c
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A few months ago, I decided that it was finally time to start watching Chuck. I have now watched all five seasons and would consider myself officially part of the Nerd Herd.
